"(The network was) trying to actually, I think, force him to get engaged," said Florence "Carol Brady" Henderson of Knight and Curry, who were introduced during a season of "The Surreal Life." "And he called me and he said, "Would you come and, uh, just counsel us?' "

Wait a second. Knight is worried about being forced into marrying a woman he hardly knows — who is more than 20 years his junior, we hasten to add — so he asks his TV mother to counsel him? OK, she's a certified hypnotherapist and all, but c'mon!

Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen

Who would have thought that Judaism would be the thing to come between Borat and his lady love?

In a storyline right out of "Sex and the City" (remember Charlotte and hairy Harry?), the wedding between Sacha Baron Cohen and Isla Fisher — the mother of his baby girl — has been postponed because Fisher has not converted to Judaism.

According to a source the U.K.'s Daily Mail consulted, "Isla was supposed to spend time after giving birth hard at work on her Torah studies, and that's gone far slower than expected."

Oh, yeah. We can think of no better way of relaxing — after enduring the rigors of childbirth, in particular — than jumping right into a new religion.

At least Cohen sounds like he's got his head screwed on straight. According to the source: "(Cohen) believes that putting too much pressure on Isla is only going to make the wedding happen later rather than sooner."

You're not kidding.

Ethan Hawke

He had to do it, didn't he? He just had to rain on her parade.

We're referring, of course, to Ethan Hawke, who recently announced that he married his girlfriend, Ryan Shawhughes, the mother of his unborn child.

The news comes hot on the heels of his ex-wife's — that's Uma Thurman, y'all — announcement that she is engaged to marry Swiss multimillionaire Arpad Busson. (Who also happens to be Elle McPherson's baby daddy. Not that we're keeping track or anything.)

Our collective eyebrow is more than a little raised at the timing of Hawke's move. After all, news that Shawhughes was pregnant broke as far back as February. Then in mid-March, Hawke didn't seem over Thurman when he bounded onto a New York City stage and broke into disparaging song he wrote about her. (The lyrics included the line "My wife is a big fat beast.")

Now, we're certainly not mathematicians, but the phrase "time heals all wounds" doesn't seem to apply here. Yet. But we have a suggestion for Hawke's next performance: a live rendition of Justin Timberlake's "Cry Me a River."

Val Emmich

It's rough being a pretty boy.

Not that we're speaking from experience or anything. But from watching guy celebs over the years, it's apparent that good-looking dudes can either embrace their prettiness or make themselves as mangy as possible. And evidently Manalapan native and former South River resident Val Emmich has chosen the former.

The thoughtful rocker's already gotten his feet wet in ABC's short-lived "Cashmere Mafia" and NBC's amusing "30 Rock" (playing the object of "cougar" Tina Fey's affections). And now comes word that Emmich has been plucked to star as a potential new love interest of Betty Suarez (America Ferrera) in ABC's hit "Ugly Betty," which is now filming in New York City.

This Central Jersey boy has come a long way since 2004, when he 'fessed to My Central Jersey music writer Chris Jordan, "I'm still getting over my shyness. . . I have to be more outgoing or else it's going to be a big obstacle."

Somehow we don't think it's an obstacle at all anymore.