Devote five minutes to Bravo's reality show "Millionaire Matchmaker" (at 10 p.m. Tuesdays) and you'll no doubt get an earful of Short Hills native Patti Stanger's opinions on men, women and relationships. The show follows Stanger, the founder and CEO of Millionaire's Club, as she attempts to fix rich men up with the women of their dreams. She's a third-generation matchmaker, and as you might have already gathered, she's got no qualms about speaking plainly.

Photo Credit: Bravo
New Jersey native Patti Stanger counsels client Jeff on the ins and outs of attracting wife-caliber material in "Millionaire Matchmaker.'

"We left it at "Let's talk soon,' " he tells her, adding that he doesn't want to appear pushy.

Stanger lights into him, pointing out that men who are sincerely interested in women ask them out for another date right away. Los Angeles men, she says, wait three months to call a woman back and then expect a warm reception. When Jeff gets defensive and tells her he's not sure when he'll be available for another date because of business obligations, Stanger throws her hands up in frustration.

"He can't make time for a woman consistently," she fumes to the camera. "That's probably the reason he's divorced."

But Jeff is just the tip of the iceberg. Dave, a 40-year-old who's found his fortune in the sex-toy industry, sports a stripper pole in his living room. He also loves to host pool parties with lots and lots of Botoxed buxom beauties. Stanger realizes she's got her work cut out for her with this player.

"Party guy ends up in the nursing home hitting on the nurse because there's nobody left," she informs him. "Someone needs to shake you."

Clearly, these men have significant issues of their own. Most of them are well into their 40s and determined to find 20something wives, even when Stanger tells them that women that age are not ready to settle down and have children.

Then there's an infuriating client like 28-year-old Julien. He's infuriating because, despite his financial success and good looks, he has absolutely no clue how to speak or relate to women. He drones on and on about things of no consequence and answers questions with another question. (Oddly enough, he has no problem conversing with a waiter.)

"I tend to want to reveal myself to someone in layers — kind of like an onion," Julien intones in a mild French accent.

Stanger quickly ascertains that Julien's got a problem and schedules an appointment for him with a relationship expert. Julien, naturally, is less than thrilled.

"It's tough love," Stanger says. "It's the only thing that works."

You might think her blunt approach would put off potential clients. But Stanger's business has been around for eight years and shows no signs of slowing down. Still, she acknowledges that it's an intense environment: She must sign up six to 10 millionaires per month (who pay at least $20,000 a year in membership fees) "in order to sleep at night."

She appears to be even more blunt to the women she recruits to date the millionaires. She doesn't hesitate to criticize their appearances by telling them to get hair extensions and change their makeup or their clothing.

"I'm gonna get you married if you listen to me," she tells them.

Stanger is the real appeal of "Millionaire Matchmaker." Her no-baloney attitude and determination to find the perfect match for her clients is oddly endearing. And she herself is a conundrum: involved with her boyfriend for three years, Stanger says he's cagey about marriage. Considering she counsels other women about leaving their commitment-shy boyfriends, the irony is not lost on her.

"I think I became a matchmaker to understand men," she says.

Judging by "Millionaire Matchmaker," she's doing a pretty good job.